10 years on & what was I doing on that day?

August 31, 2007 at 10:30 pm (Daily Life)

In the UK today no one could escape the fact that it is the tenth anniversary of Dianna Princes of Wales death! It was all over the news and this morning both main terrestrial TV channels had live coverage of the memorial in which her sons Prince Harry and Prince William paid tribute to her. Elton John was there with his parter David and at one stage I caught a glimpse of Elton in tears as Harry spoke of his personal loss.

princess di

Where was I and what was I doing on the night she died? I was in France not far from Paris where she died. The French people had told my boyfriend of her death and he had come rushing back to tell me. “Don’t be stupid, that’s impossible” I had said. you see, we had not seen or heard any English news. We were on our way to Spain and I was towing a large caravan. I quickly tuned the car radio into the BBC world service and it was soon confirmed Dianne morte as the French had said. For days after everywhere we went in France the paper shops were full of magazines with her picture on their front covers. On the morning of her funeral my boyfriend and me wore black and spent time listening to the service on the radio and walking around a sea front – totally skint. I was slowly reducing myself off methadone and at this point it had run out – I was feeling sick – withdrawing. I was in a strange land with a guy I called my boyfriend but although we had sex when we got stoned or drunk he still maintained he was straight. It was a fiery relationship. I wonder today if he is still alive? On our return to the UK some months later he had started injecting and he insisted he would never go there!!!

I had come very close to meeting her on a couple of occasions; In the 80’s I with a number of others had founded a charity for drug users with AIDS called Mainliners and as the coordinator of that charity I had been invited to many events in which she attended but alas our paths never crossed. It seems a little ironic that here i am today – ten years later and still in the same position – well not in exactly the same position, I am older, my family now doesn’t speak to me any more, and I spent 4 years in prison for the drug. No, what I mean by I’m in the same position is that today I am again sick with withdrawals but I have not used today. I am going to spend this weekend building web sites for myself and staying in. No more poison for Ian please!

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I am not going to use, I am NOT, NOT, NOT, NOT

August 30, 2007 at 11:54 pm (Daily Life)

Haha I’ve said that a few times in my life… I will never use again! yer right. I spent my last money for the next three days on Royal Mail Special Delivery post for an Item I sold on ebay. No I don’t steal and I always keep my word. I never let people down and the only illegal thing I do is to have a controlled substance on my person now and again. I heard from the loverly Grant who used to live here in Plymouth but has moved to Stirling in Scotland to start Uni. I wish I was younger and with him….he’s so loverly and sexy and still a virgin at 19! Yes he’s gay.

My life is spent keeping some things like the drugs away from my gay friends and I keep being gay away from my using acquaintances. Talk about a double life… I have been studying Internet marketing again. it’s the last day of the 30 Day Challenge and wow what I have learned in the last month. I am amazed at the price a program (Microsoft Publisher 2003) is fetching on ebay £45 so far and it only cost me £1 at the boot sale and there’s still 19 more hours to go. I couldn’t help myself and have bid on more original artwork… One by my favorite artists – a gay couple living in Turkey Serhan & Murat

teddies

I have to be very careful here as to what I display because my image hosting company are very, very prudish about naked bodies – no matter that it is art. I have a collection of art by these artists and i love the teddy images. This one is very tame though. The painting below is one that they do every now and again…I call him big eyes for obvious reasons. I am winning the bid on this one so far. I say so far because their art if fetching a hansom fee lately, ie 9″x12″ pencil drawing for £252!

big ayes

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Bad Dreams

August 30, 2007 at 1:05 am (Daily Life)

Before I went to bed last night I watched a film called proof of life staring Russel Crowe and Meg Ryan about a man who is kidnapped by South American locals. He is kept captive while a ransom is negotiated. I bought this DVD from the local boot sale and didn’t read the description too well but I really enjoyed it. It touched on the manufacture of cocaine but didn’t delve too deeply into that side of things.

proof of life movie poster

During the night I had a dream. I’m going to call it a dream because I didn’t wake up screaming as I usually do when I encounter a nightmare. This dream was full of people I didn’t know and there were lots of tropical trees like a jungle – similar to some of the scenes in the film. I was myself in this dream, same sex, age and as usual i was also gay! come to think of it, I have never had a dream where I fancied the opposite sex! I was not imprisoned by anyone but I was imprisoned by an addiction to opium. I remember that it was organic and not man made!

I woke up at 1.10pm and because the chemist was shut i put my head down and woke up again at 2.15pm. when I went downstairs on my way to the land rover and the pharmacy I noticed that some artwork had come in the post. Surreal from Poxxod. Images below. they are small but that doesn’t matter I like the feeling they give me.

alien

alien 2

I love surreal art. It reminds me of something that I can’t put into words! It speaks to me. I bid on two paintings yesterday on ebay by an artist called Napolien13 – I didn’t win them but I wont buy another painting until I own at least one of his…They are so very special, they make me feel as I have never felt before. I am shocked at the thoughts,pleasure and pain they portray. Here below is but one….

Nepolien13

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A Kurdish Meal

August 28, 2007 at 7:02 pm (Daily Life)

I went to the porn shop and got £50 for my Canon 400d ‘got to get that back soon’, then I popped into the Clarence which is a gay friendly pub. I was only there a minute and my transvestite friend David came in. We had gone to the beach in Cornwall over the bank holiday and when he sat down I noticed that he had my prescription sunglasses on ‘you bitch’ I shouted and full of apologies he invited me for a meal at a local restaurant, a Kurdish restaurant. Lamb biriani was very filling indeed especially since it came with a large naan bread, soup and ladies fingers as David calls them all for £5 and he paid – Yeeess.

I banked £30, scored a ten bag and two tenants super! found a vein in my thumb quite easily but I’m feeling very guilty at spending yet another ten pounds. When I got back to the PC, I noticed an email from Google Alerts who I had filled an application in last night for the phrase “gay junkie” there aren’t that many instances of the phrase in Google or in other words not many people are searching for it or writing about it. There was this exception though.

I told David I would send him some of the photos from the beach once I had reduced the file size…here’s a couple;

Lady-canaibal

canibal fire

sun down

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Out of money again!

August 28, 2007 at 2:05 pm (Daily Life)

I woke up today with only one thing on my mind “fix” and then the next thought that entered my confusion was ‘will I find a vein’ well I was lucky this morning because I had a fiver’s worth in the cupboard and I found a vein in my right hand straight away! Next thing I did was swallow 70Mls of Methadone and make a cup of coffee.

Then I sat down at the computer and started the days work…email first which often takes me on a hike around the planet looking at various things that interest me. I noticed a story on Digg which had almost 900 Diggs, the story is about a new disc that has been invented called the “TeraDisc” I left quite a lengthy comment and moved on to ebay where I have some things for sale. I can’t help thinking about the letters that are on the coffee table in the living room though, ‘the letters that remain unopened’ two of them are from the camera unit – telling me of two speeding fines I have to pay  ‘but pay with what though?’

Another is an invoice from the boat yard – yes I own a boat! A couple of years ago, I had returned to college to study multimedia and a college friend and I bought a small motor cruiser to repair during our summer breaks. He had the best idea though; he withdrew from our agreement and I bought him out. That was all before I started using again. I have to pay for a nude male drawing I bought from ebay last week so I will have to go into town later and porn my digital SLR again. Shit! Never mind, at least I started this blog and if I put some money in the bank I can pay for my domain name to go with this blog – yes I own the domain “gayjunkie.com” cool.

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